Who Moved That Goal Post?

What do you do when the rug is pulled from under your feet by a decision you are not party to? For instance, when there is a change at work imposed on you from above.

Decisions by others can affect us deeply, particularly if we don’t agree with them.  And we feel compelled to resist.  In some situations, we will even violate our personal values in order to resist or rebel – ironically this is most likely to occur when we believe that the decision that was made goes against our values.  Also interesting is that we will rebel subconsciously even without realising it or meaning to.  Resistance can take many forms including: withdrawal; anger; standing up for what we believe; complaining with our peers; mourning the loss of what once was.  In essence, we utilise a strategy that has worked for us in the past in a disempowered attempt to ‘right the wrongs’ of the decision.  We’ve all been there at some point.

However, this has a knock on affect on other aspects of our lives; we become tired and grumpy around our nearest and dearest and we focus on what is wrong, nurturing resentment and anger or even despair.  And in doing so, we negate our own power to make a difference.

Decisions will be made by others and we won’t always be party to them, or agree with them.  But it is also true that decisions, even when they are difficult, need to be made.  And when they are, you might be surprised to hear that it is not the decision that causes our pain and suffering, but the meaning we attach to the decision and the way we behave as a result of it.

Tip: Next time you feel the rug pulled from under your feet by a decision outside of your control, stop and ask:

What is the meaning I am attaching to this decision?

Is it true?

Is there a possibility that there is one or more alternative meanings that could also apply?

Am I offering to others what I expect from them in terms of the way I am behaving?
What is in my power to achieve or do given the new situation?

What support can I offer to others?

What is within my control that I can focus on right now?

Then ACT on your answers.  This will give you back your power and your mojo too.