Lucy Windsor

Book Review Classified Post, written by Nick Walker

A new book argues that persuading others to buy is hardwired into our species

Nobody has ever calculated the percentage of Hong Kong’s workforce in sales, but it’s likely in the Asia-Pacific top 10, along with the most McDonald’s per square kilometre, smartphone market penetration, and the – over the last year – Candy Crush addiction.

The business of Hong Kong is business – and a huge, though thus-far uncalculated proportion, is in sales.

To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others, by Daniel H. Pink, deals both with selling goods and services, and the all-important business of selling yourself in one of the most fluid job markets on the planet. It also covers the selling – or the pitching – of your ideas to your employee to stay ahead of the power curve.

So, like it or not, most of us are in sales, one way or another.

To Sell Is Human looks at the curious mix of art and science of selling in gratuitous detail and, in places, wry humour. There are surprises here too, such as Pink’s opinion that extroverts don’t make the best salespeople.

Here you’ll also find six successors to the “elevator-pitch”, the three rules for understanding your potential customer’s perspective, the “five frames” by which you can enhance the persuasiveness of your message, and more. The result is a perceptive and practical work with applications for job-hunting, work, even study.

But before we go any further, who is this Pink fellow? Just another US business guru-cum-keynote speechmaker? Well he’s a bit more than that. Pink’s served at the highest levels of politics and public service, having worked as an aide to US secretary of labor Robert Reich, and – from 1995 to 1997 – was chief speechwriter for former vice-president Al Gore.

Pink can write with verve. At times, he uncannily reads the mind of the reader and offers simple but compelling metaphors to illustrate a finding or concept.

Pink’s basic premise is simple. He posits that he we all spend considerable energy each day trying to get others to do what we want or request – a purchase, a new job, an agreement, a deal, sometimes simple obedience.

One professional he interviewed expressed it most lucidly. “Almost everything I do involves persuasion. Whether you directly sell products, participate in teamwork efforts, attempt to direct the behaviour of others or run your own business, you are, in effect, selling or, more specifically, moving others to do something.”

Pink reviews the historical protocol for selling and determines that it has morphed with the zeitgeist. The instantaneous access to information through the internet has completely altered the balance of power in sales exchanges. Consumers know far more, and will – in the middle of your sales presentation – look up what you just said on their smartphones. Pink’s book offers strategic advice on how to adapt to this harsher paradigm.

He tells us that far from being a world of “us and them”, we are now in some shape or form all in sales: whether it’s selling a product old-school style, selling our skills to a potential employer or selling an idea to have it supported and funded.

He argues that the first thing homo sapiens did was sell to each other. I disagree – I’m sure they had sex, discovered fire, and invented the wheel before sales become part of the human condition. But one gets his point.

“The ability to move others to exchange what they have for what we have is crucial to our survival and our happiness. It has helped our species evolve, lifted our living standards, and enhanced our daily lives. The capacity to sell isn’t some unnatural adaptation to the merciless world of commerce. It is part of who we are,” he writes.

And although he talks of “honesty, directness, and transparency” now being the more fruitful long-term route, most of us who have caught others attempting to take advantage of us will know that there are still plenty of ignorant and nefarious sellers out there – something that Pink reminds us of.

Following his view that increasing numbers of us are involved in selling, he goes on to suggest how we can be better sellers – the first step being to see “rejections as temporary rather than permanent, specific rather than universal, and external rather than personal.”

He also acknowledges the grimly inevitable. “Anyone who sells – whether they’re trying to convince customers to make a purchase or colleagues to make a change – must contend with wave after wave of rebuffs, refusals, and repudiations.”

Many of his points are reassuringly fresh. “To sell well is to convince someone else to part with resources – not to deprive that person, but to leave him better off in the end.”

All in all, a highly practical book on the crowded “How to Sell” shelf of your nearest bookstore. And head and shoulders above the competition.

MCNULTY’S ALIGNMENT PRINCIPLE

Michael McNulty, who hails from Camberley, England, and now works in London and Elmbridge, has been providing professional development advice for over a decade, through his company, The Performance Business. He echoes Daniel H. Pink’s ideas, and shares some insights of his own:

Be flexible “If you are in a meeting with a prospective buyer, they will need the opportunity to share their perspective, hopes and desires. Co-create the solution with them rather than for them.”

Be reassuring “A prospective client needs to be sure you have their interests at heart. You must understand and address any fears or concerns they have so that they can be confident that your product or service is the best option for them.”

Listen and connect “What is your client really saying? Are you sure you have really heard what is important? Are you sure you haven’t made any assumptions? If you are unsure, ask questions to clarify and check back with your prospective client. Once you are aligned with your client and their needs, you can match your products and services to give wings to the shared vision.”

The other day, I had the honour of taking part in an ‘interview practice day’ at the local comprehensive school – the school that both my children attend.

I met with outstanding individuals, who were able to field even the most difficult questions with sensible and thoughtful responses.

These young people represent our future generation.  Bright and talented, each of them filled with hope and desire and passion.  Their ambition is to carve out a path for their adult selves.  A path where they are valued and contributing in their own unique way to society.

These young men and women are powered by their values and there is a genuine desire in all of them to make a positive difference in their corner of the World.

This is the third year that I have had the pleasure of this opportunity and each time, I am humbled by the grace and willingness of teenagers I meet.

My first year, I had the experience of interviewing a ‘goth’.  Or so she said.  In fact, she looked far from it to me.  She was smartly dressed in a suit, with a splash of sensible makeup, betrayed only by the fact that she approached my desk entirely without a smile – this being the only nod to her chosen identity.  We talked and she responded in a guarded fashion for a while and to be honest, it was a bit tricky to get much out of her at all.

I decided to ask about her hobbies.  This was when she shared with me her goth status.  I was interested to hear what that entailed.  She described her friends and the fact that they love nothing more than to attend special conventions in London.  As she chatted, she began to smile broadly and became engaging and animated, a pleasure to speak to.  Then, and with absolute delight she exclaimed “…and the best bit is the free hugs!”  “Free hugs?” I enquired, “What do you mean?”  The girl explained that there are several people at these conventions offering free hugs to anyone who wants one.

This was a very profound moment for me.  I had been invited in, briefly, to her world.  The one filled with love and camaraderie different to my own experience.  An unconditional acceptance within a group of people, brought together by their shared identity.

We went on to talk easily about her ambition to become a graphic designer and her passion for the subject.

At the end of the interview, the girl and I shook hands and her mask returned.  Her smile gone, she walked quietly away.  A goth in a suit.  And as I watched her leave I felt immensely privileged.

That encounter gave me an insight rarely allowed to a stranger and brought home to me so powerfully the human need that we all have inside us, whatever our chosen identity or circles we mix in, for acceptance and unconditional love.  She touched my heart.

Year 2, and again I meet outstanding teenagers, all doing their best and opening themselves up to scrutiny and critique.  Laying themselves bare to the judgement of older, more experienced, (but not necessarily wiser) adults.

One girl stood out.  Her practice interview was for a job in fashion.  When I asked about her interest, she said she had her own blog, which she used as the vehicle to share her fashion tips.  She already had over 300 followers – forward thinking for a school-girl in 2012.

This year, probably because of my own personal focus specifically over recent years, I was particularly struck by the integrity of these young people.   And what I came away with has given me an even more urgent and determined impetus in my work.

Every young person I interviewed has a very clear and strong set of values.  They are respectful, committed and loyal.  They are interested in contributing to society in a positive way.  They measure their success and personal fulfilment by their ability to do an excellent job, whilst remaining aligned to their values.

At one point during the day, I interviewed a boy interested in dentistry.  His practice interview was for the post of trainee dentist in my imaginary partnership.  He showed great promise, was eloquent and very interested in the patient experience.  He described a day’s experience he spent recently, shadowing a dentist.  In the feedback, however, he said he wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted to be a dentist, he felt he might go into medicine instead.  I explained that in an interview, he should show the interviewer that this is the job he’s absolutely committed to and passionate about over and above any other.  His response?  “But that wouldn’t be true.”  I paused for a moment and then said to the boy.  “Is there another way to show your passion without compromising your integrity?”  We came up with a solution.  Whatever job he interviews for, the important thing is to show his vision and purpose behind it.  For instance, as a dentist, he would feel passionate about giving people confidence because they would have a smile to be proud of.  This is his truth.

I am privileged in my work.  I am both a professional roleplayer and a breakthrough coach.  I observe people’s behaviour.  And I see when a person’s values are compromised.  They feel it.  They feel the immediate stress and discomfort of their own misalignment and it creates both a physical and emotional reaction.  It is visible.

Yet, in the workplace, how many leaders, managers, colleagues take the time to look out for the misalignment of values?  How often are people told to do things that they feel personally uncomfortable about and don’t feel in a position to challenge it?

I believe that there is a spectrum and we all fall along it in some way.  At one end of the spectrum, we use language that can be misinterpreted.  As with my suggestion to the boy that it would serve him well to show his focus and commitment to the role of dentist.  Yet, how many leaders in business take the time to listen to what their staff are feeling and adjust their language accordingly?

At the other end of the spectrum, after years of overriding values again and again, some appear to no longer know or care what their values are.  Hector Sants, Chief Executive of the then Financial Services Authority (now Financial Conduct Authority) during the banking crisis said in his Mansion House speech in October 2010:

“…It is crucial that we improve behaviours and judgements.  To do this we must address the role that culture and ethics play in shaping these.

“I believe that until this issue is addressed we will not be able to prevent another crisis of this magnitude from occurring again, and will never fully restore the trust of society in the financial system.”

Hector Sants and his team determined that years of erosion of values had occurred in the financial sector in the name of commercial success, to the point that ethics had become a secondary concern in some organisations and people became blind to the risks.  The repercussions of which, we are all still feeling.

Just like an addiction, drink, drugs, gambling, food, sex, money – our bodies start out trying to tell us that we’ve had enough.  We feel the physical symptoms, we feel stressed, depressed, hung-over, uncomfortable, anxious, sad, empty, alone.  Yet rather than listening to our body, we press the override button for another ‘hit’ to make us feel better.  And we press it again, and again and again…  Eventually, our body no longer knows if it’s had too much or not enough, it is just in a permanent state of stress and wanting.  In an unhealthy organisation, this feeling is magnified and it is the employees who are burdened by organisational stress and emptiness.

As a society, it would seem that we are (in the main), bringing up our young people to respect values and to trust their own intuition.  Yet as adults, too many of us will trample over our own values and the values of others on a daily basis, both at work and at home.  So much so that there are many people who would find it hard to even articulate what their values are if asked.

But whether we are consciously living our values or not, they remain key to our wellbeing, fulfilment and happiness, and our bodies will continue to give us signals whenever we violate them.  To get back into alignment with oneself delivers a sense of self-worth and freedom that can’t be found anywhere else and is probably the most important step we can take in terms of our long term health and quality of our relationships.

Lucy Windsor
Dramatic Breakthrough Coach
The Performance Business
+ 44 1932 888885

Have you ever heard the old adage that your words count for 7% of your communication?
We all have heard it from time to time, but how many of us really do something about it?

At a recent Assessment Centre, I was roleplaying with a well qualified and competent individual who was seeking a new managerial position.  The roleplay scenario was one of performance management.  My character was technically one of the shining stars, yet had been underperforming in some aspects of her role.
If you read a transcript of the meeting, you would it had been highly successful, with both parties leaving happy with the outcome.  The candidate displayed really strong insight as to the problem, he was not afraid to explain the issues and he was supportive, offering his guidance going forward.  Perhaps a little directive at times, he managed to gain acceptance, if not complete buy in to his plan, but pretty much on the button in terms of his judgement of the situation.
However, as the meeting played out, sat in the seat of the direct report, my character felt slowly crushed and by the end of the meeting, was utterly despondent.

What could possibly have had such a powerfully negative impact during such an apparently positive meeting?

Everything he didn’t say.

His non-verbal communication was entirely incongruent to his words.  In fact, in the 30 minutes we had for the meeting, there was only one smile – as he said goodbye.

When highlighting the performance issues, he frowned and his speech was laboured as if to demonstrate the severity of the problem.  When encouraging me with positive words, he continued to frown and sigh, shaking his head.

Rather than the performance challenges being bumps in the road to be overcome, my character felt like she was a burden to the company.  The small amount of praise for her achievements were delivered deadpan and without enthusiasm, bookended by her failures.
As people managers, we have a responsibility not just to drive for a result, but to the well being of the other person.  Any frustration we have towards others inevitably leaks through our body language and has a direct impact on them and consequently on the quality of the outcome.

Tip: next time you have to have that difficult conversation, give yourself a moment to remember “This person is doing their absolute best with all that they currently know and the resources they believe are available to them.” and see how

Lucy Windsor