Is that a smile creeping across your face now as you get into the zone and find the fun in your work? The next step towards regaining your joie de vivre : 6. Take responsibility for your wellbeing.
Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 6. It is all coming together now, just as it should be. As you incorporate these tips into your daily routine, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.
- Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
- Clarify your purpose
- Find something or someone to inspire you
- Do something today better than you did yesterday
- Any time you feel tense – breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
- Take responsibility for your wellbeing (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
- Avoid blaming others
- Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
One of the biggest stress factors is the feeling that we don’t have control of a situation. Perhaps someone has upset or offended us. We, or someone we know, has been treated unfairly in some way. There is nothing worse than to think that the behaviour of others has made us feel bad.
It is time to let others off the hook. They can’t ever be responsible for how I feel. It is the same for you.
Practise this in situations that are trivial, safe and have little impact first (for instance, a minor confrontation in a shop). Someone does something that causes you distress or upset, make a note of it and when you are on you own, analyse it. Ask yourself this question: What could I have done differently that would have created a different, better outcome? Take Tina’s example:
Situation: I was cross because they didn’t give me a refund for my goods even though they were in perfect, unused condition. They were really ‘jobs worth’ about it. I refuse to be talked to like that by anyone.
Analysis: I knew that I only had 30 days to return the goods and it was day 33. I came up to the counter ready for an argument about missing the returns window. I was visibly irritated when they didn’t accept it.
OK, so now she knows. This particular scuffle would definitely have been prevented if Tina had returned the goods within the timeframe allowed. Or, if she had apologised for missing the deadline and asked if it was at all possible to accept the return, despite being outside the 30 days, they just might have the goodwill and the authority to accept the return. If not, Tina would have learnt a good lesson – there is a consequence to missing deadlines.
If you have a minor confrontation, wait till you have calmed down and analyse it. If there is an opportunity to apologise and make amends for the way you have behaved, do so. If the other party’s behaviour was also inappropriate, it is likely they too will apologise. But they might not and you will notice that acceptance of your own behaviour is actually all you need. What others do is for them to reconcile with themselves.
Either way, make a note of how you would approach the situation another time. Perhaps chuckle at yourself for getting uptight over something you could have avoided, and look forward to the next opportunity so you can practice.
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