fun Archives - The Performance Biz

May 24

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Gain Attention

By Michael McNulty | Uncategorized | No Comments

‘I paused and thought for a moment – rather than joining the masses, what about if I did the opposite?…’

I start with a story.

When I was young and naive, I remember being coerced into going up to London for the January Sales, when the January Sales started on Boxing Day, and not in September.

That was my first mistake.

I remember queuing outside Selfridges in the freezing cold in London’s Oxford Street and then the doors burst open like an overripe haggis and we all fell into the warm and fuzzy madness that some people get rather excited about. Amongst the carnage, all sense of courtesy and patience was lost in the buying frenzy that ensued.

People were pushing and shoving at each other and at the shop assistants as they clamoured for help to make their purchase and get back to their homes for the Boxing Day snoozathon. The poor shop assistants were bewildered and buffeted by the hordes and I had no hope of gaining the attention of anyone, having miraculously found a pair of jeans that were heavily reduced. I attempted to join the scrum but there were far more determined shoppers than I.

I paused and thought for a moment – rather than joining the masses, what about if I did the opposite? What effect might this have? So I calmly and deliberately retreated to the edge of the scrum and stood, stock still, holding my jeans in one hand and fixing my gaze on one of the shop assistants.

‘Be patient’ I told myself ‘sustain your gaze’ and within a short period of time the shop assistant returned my gaze. Like a scene out of West Side Story, we walked towards each other while the mayhem continued and eventually we stood face to face. ‘Can I help you sir?’, she purred. ‘yes could I buy these jeans?’. ‘Certainly sir; that will be £5 please’.

Translating this story into the world of communication, it points at 3 elements that can help you draw the attention of your audience:

1. Do the opposite of whatever is happening around you. This immediately creates a counterpoint and will guarantee that you draw the attention of your audience.

2. Sustain the action. Hold it for as long as you dare. This will draw the flow of attention to you, minimising all that is going on around you.

3. Be at ease. Conduct the whole action with a feeling of ease, breathing in synchronisation with your actions. Good luck!

To find out more about how to be an EPiC leader, click here to arrange a conversation with one of our Consultants or call us on 00 44 1932 888 885.

Apr 06

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Turn Off The Automatic Pilot

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

‘The penny dropped. We had stopped looking out for patterns and landmarks and junctions. We had effectively ‘switched off’’’…

Not so many years ago, sat navs in cars were a luxury item. These days they are ubiquitous and if you haven’t got one, likelihood is there’s one on your smartphone.

Along with the increase in the use of this technology, the art of map reading has declined. I used to enjoy using maps. I loved (still do) to travel and I liked the way the contour lines would tell me whether the ground is flat or hilly. I enjoyed the fact that I could make choices about whether to take the motorways, or a more relaxed route along the A and B roads and to plan the best locations to stop off for lunch. Maps give a visual overview of an area quickly and there are markers that signpost important aspects of the place. Places of interest, lakes, villages, towns, vantage points and more. For me, just thinking about maps makes me feel giddy with the anticipation of a journey and my heart beats a little faster.

I remember my very first experience using a sat nav. I was on a family holiday in Portugal. We arrived at Faro airport and programmed our electronic companion to take us to our holiday home. It was so easy! So good in fact, that we used it every time we left the house for trips out.

Yet, a week into our holiday and we still couldn’t find our way home without it. We had become dependent upon our programmable friend and baffled by our inability to remember the route home – it would normally only take a day or two to get familiar with the area.

The penny dropped. We had stopped looking out for patterns and landmarks and junctions. We had effectively ‘switched off’, no longer seeing what was around us. No longer getting a ‘feel’ for our surroundings.

So, we decided to leave the sat nav behind and instead enjoyed finding our way using a paper map, road signs, landmarks and our own recollections. We made a conscious decision to get to know the area.

Free to explore, we found little restaurants that we hadn’t seen before. We noticed the village church and discovered its curious vault, wallpapered with ancient human skulls. We found a fabulous marketplace for the locals, which sold ultra-fresh fish and vegetables from local growers. We bought there rather than going to the bland and uninspired supermarket on the highway that we had been using.

We felt that we had finally arrived. Connecting with the area and the people who lived there.

Sat navs are useful for one-off journeys – to get from A to B, but if we want to connect with an area and with the community that lives there, we must engage with it personally.

The same applies to people in business and in life.

Life is so busy today, most people are in the habit of making snap decisions about others, encouraged by both mainstream and social media and by the current trend for labelling people and putting them into boxes. They make assumptions and judgements about people. They listen to the comments of others and draw conclusions. All this, without taking the time to get to know a person. And the real tragedy is that in doing so, they miss the treasures that are there to be unearthed in each of us.

EPIC Leaders and Teams are different. They know when to use the sat nav and take the fastest route, pushing through to get things done; and when to turn off the metaphorical sat nav and take time to explore and find out more.

This week, I invite you to take a little time to uncover some of the hidden treasures in the people around you.

If you would like to know more about our services for Leaders, Speakers and Teams, please click here or call us on 00 44 (0)1932 888 885.

Mar 15

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Feel Great When You Have Every Reason Not To!

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

“These scenarios and many more have an uncanny knack of throwing us out of our flow…”

Hands up who’s been to a networking event or social gathering and the conversation has been clunky or awkward. People talk over each other, they ask boring questions like ‘what do you do?’ then don’t listen to the answer because they are looking over your shoulder for someone more useful to them. There might be a sense of competition between those vying for attention. Others just don’t ask any questions at all but ramble on about themselves.

How about working in teams where there is a whole range of different dysfunctions: lack of purpose, conflicting agendas, demotivated members, disgruntled members, friction around role specifications and functions. These are examples of situations that can put you off your stride, out of your flow.

What does flow mean?

When we are in the flow, everything seems to fit together. Productivity is high, conversations click, inspiration is abundant.

What takes us out of the flow?

The biggest reason we step out of the flow is this: When our experience at any one time does not match what we want. Or in other words, someone does something that we either didn’t expect, or we didn’t like, or we anticipate that they will do something unexpected or that we won’t like.

Typical examples:

Networking – worry that people won’t want to spend time with you, or being ‘cornered’ by someone who you have nothing in common with

At work – anxious about your upcoming review, or feeling undervalued by Head Office

At home – anticipating a lack of support from your partner, or dealing with confrontation from your child

All these scenarios and many more have an uncanny knack of throwing us out of our flow.

When we are out of the flow, we notice that we are physically and emotionally uncomfortable and that fires up all sorts of feelings and triggers all sorts of reactions.

How can you get back into the flow?

Most people when they notice they are out of the flow, seek to justify why they feel like they do. We’ve all been there at times – at least, I know I have. For instance, you might think, ‘If my colleague had done what they were supposed to, I wouldn’t be here now picking up the pieces.’

If you believe, as I do, that it is more important to get back in the flow and feeling good, than to pick over why you are out of it, then the following might help.

Accept the situation – Things aren’t as you want them to be in this moment
Embrace it – It’s OK! Life throws us many curve balls, here’s the latest one. Decide not to analyse it, or worry about it. Instead just notice how you feel without judgement of yourself or others
Say to yourself “I choose to feel _____________”. Whatever it might be. With choice, comes a sense of control and empowerment. What might change, for instance, if you choose to feel confident, compassionate or capable in this moment?

Getting you back in the flow.

To find out more about the services we offer, click here, or call us on +44 (0)1932 888885.

Feb 02

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8 of 8 ways to get into the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

Open Journal Book and Cup of Herbal Tea

This is the last in this series of 8 daily habits that will get you in the zone and help find fun in your work: 8. Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 8. Do these mini rituals on a daily basis and you will find yourself in the zone and filled with energy and joie de vivre!!

Hold onto your hats – life just changed up a gear!

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
Clarify your purpose
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday
Any time you feel tense – breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
Avoid blaming others
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)

Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

When was the last time you reflected on what you have learnt about yourself? This exercise is personal development in a nutshell – an easy way to grow little by little each day. After just one month doing this daily, you are guaranteed to feel so much stronger, more capable, confident and motivated!

List down one thing you have learnt about yourself today, whether it is something you are particularly good at, or something you have noticed you do that is holding you back from being the best you can be.

Then, whether you have identified a strength or area that requires some attention, commit to an action to make a positive change for the future.

Now, with a smile and a high-five, you’ve just given yourself the most valuable gift that money can’t buy. You’re in the zone and can do more with less effort. You hold the key to creating fun in your work and in your life!

To talk with us, call +44 (0)1932 888 885, or click here.

Feb 02

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7 of 8 ways to get into the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

hand throwing a grenade isolated on white

We are pretty well programmed to look for the blame in any situation. And of course, things go wrong and people are at fault. However, no one is infallible. Even when things have gone wrong. Even when the rug is pulled from under our feet. We have a choice: 7. Avoid blaming others

Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 7. It is all coming together now, just as it should be. As you incorporate these tips into your daily routine, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
Clarify your purpose
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday
Any time you feel tense – breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
Avoid blaming others (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Avoid blaming others

It is easy to blame someone else for how we feel, or for the failing of a task, often there is justification for doing so. If someone else had done things differently the situation might never have happened. However, there is a huge downside to blaming. In doing so, we render ourselves powerless. It wasn’t our fault. We weren’t responsible. We had no option. Our hands were tied. When we dwell on blame, we are focused in the past. What should have, could have happened and the injustice of it.

No one enjoys being powerless.

Regain your power.

The situation is what it is. The events leading up to the situation have already happened. The clock can’t be turned back. You regain your power when you focus on what you can do next that will lead towards the best outcome instead of focusing on what is or was outside your control and blaming others.

This is a small shift. It absolutely does not mean allowing yourself to be a soft touch or a doormat. It just means to accept the reality as it stands and put all your energy and attention on where to go from this point forwards.

To talk with us, call +44 (0)1932 888 885 or click here.

Feb 02

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6 of 8 ways to get in the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

Golden egg among common eggs

Is that a smile creeping across your face now as you get into the zone and find the fun in your work? The next step towards regaining your joie de vivre : 6. Take responsibility for your wellbeing.

Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 6. It is all coming together now, just as it should be. As you incorporate these tips into your daily routine, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
Clarify your purpose
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday
Any time you feel tense – breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
Take responsibility for your wellbeing (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
Avoid blaming others
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Take responsibility for your wellbeing

One of the biggest stress factors is the feeling that we don’t have control of a situation. Perhaps someone has upset or offended us. We, or someone we know, has been treated unfairly in some way. There is nothing worse than to think that the behaviour of others has made us feel bad.

It is time to let others off the hook. They can’t ever be responsible for how I feel. It is the same for you.

Practise this in situations that are trivial, safe and have little impact first (for instance, a minor confrontation in a shop). Someone does something that causes you distress or upset, make a note of it and when you are on you own, analyse it. Ask yourself this question: What could I have done differently that would have created a different, better outcome? Take Tina’s example:

Situation: I was cross because they didn’t give me a refund for my goods even though they were in perfect, unused condition. They were really ‘jobs worth’ about it. I refuse to be talked to like that by anyone.

Analysis: I knew that I only had 30 days to return the goods and it was day 33. I came up to the counter ready for an argument about missing the returns window. I was visibly irritated when they didn’t accept it.

OK, so now she knows. This particular scuffle would definitely have been prevented if Tina had returned the goods within the timeframe allowed. Or, if she had apologised for missing the deadline and asked if it was at all possible to accept the return, despite being outside the 30 days, they just might have the goodwill and the authority to accept the return. If not, Tina would have learnt a good lesson – there is a consequence to missing deadlines.

If you have a minor confrontation, wait till you have calmed down and analyse it. If there is an opportunity to apologise and make amends for the way you have behaved, do so. If the other party’s behaviour was also inappropriate, it is likely they too will apologise. But they might not and you will notice that acceptance of your own behaviour is actually all you need. What others do is for them to reconcile with themselves.

Either way, make a note of how you would approach the situation another time. Perhaps chuckle at yourself for getting uptight over something you could have avoided, and look forward to the next opportunity so you can practice.

To get in touch with us, call +44 (0)1932 888 885, or click here.

Feb 02

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5 of 8 ways to get into the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

Perfect Wave

If you have already been incorporating steps 1-4 into your daily routine, the load you have been carrying should be feeling much lighter already. The next step towards regaining your joie de vivre and find the fun in your work is: 5. Any time you feel tense, breathe deeply and be still – it will pass.

Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 5. We will give you more information on each tip over the coming weeks and as you incorporate these tips into your life, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
Clarify your purpose
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday
Any time you feel tense – breathe deeply and be still – it will pass (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
Avoid blaming others
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Any time you feel tense – breathe deeply and be still. It will pass

Over the course of a day, it is possible that something or someone will bother you. Or several things or several people. It is a natural desire to want to defend or justify your position.

However, when you are in the middle of experiencing a physical response to a situation (a feeling of tension somewhere inside your body) it is often best to say nothing at all. This is because when we have a physical reaction to a situation, this means we are in fight or flight mode. At this place, we only have access to a small area of our brain, the reactive area. Its purpose is survival and protection.

In this state, when you feel tense, you will be quick to arrive at short term solutions (for instance, get angry and shout; blame others; get upset, cry; leave; give in etc…) but you will not have considered the broader consequences and you are likely to end up feeling, at the least, misunderstood.

Stop, walk away, sleep on it, breathe deeply. Put your attention onto something you are in full control of, like cooking a meal, or if you are at work, use this as an opportunity to tidy your papers or do something else that distracts you and gives you an immediate positive reward. As you focus elsewhere, let the thoughts that are troubling you come and go like the waves of the sea washing over you, and away without trying to resolve them.

Be peaceful. The answers you are searching for will come when you are ready.

To speak to us call +44 (0)1932 888 885 or click here.

Feb 02

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4 of 8 ways to get into the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

Sprinter leaving on the running track. Explosive start.

By now you are finding 15 minutes in your day to be at peace. Stopping the world just for that moment to recharge. You have also clarified your purpose and are finding inspiration in the most unlikely of places and you are beginning to enjoy yourself. The next step towards regaining your joie de vivre and find the fun in your work is: 4. Do something today better than you did yesterday.

Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 4. We will give you more information on each tip over the coming weeks and as you incorporate these tips into your life, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
Clarify your purpose
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
Any time you feel tense, breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
Avoid blaming others
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Do something today better than you did yesterday

Have you ever resolved to make changes in the way you do things? Launching yourself confidently with good intent into a new way of operating. We probably all have at one time or another. Yet, within a few days, maybe a month, we are back to old habits without even realising it.

Changes take a bit of bedding down. We have to get used to the idea of behaving differently. We need to have a reason to make changes, or they just won’t stick.

One way to create positive changes that stick is to remind yourself everyday that you will do something better than you did yesterday. No grand goal, just something better every day.

Upping your standards, just a little bit every day, coupled with knowing your purpose (see step 2) means you have the beginnings of new habits. It is quite fun to record your progress. Over the period of several months, you can look back and see the enormous strides you have made and how easy it was.

Jan 27

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2 of 8 ways to get in the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

Happy young business woman enjoying success at work

So far so good… You are finding 15 minutes a day to be at peace and in silence. You are now ready to incorporate the next step towards regaining your joie de vivre and find the fun in your work!

Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 2. We will give you more information on each tip over the coming weeks and if you follow the advice, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.

Life just got more interesting – Here we go!

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes
Clarify your purpose (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday
Any time you feel tense, breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
Avoid blaming others
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Clarify Your Purpose

This is worth taking a little time to think about at first. So it might be a good idea to take yourself off to a quiet corner with a cup of tea and a notebook. It might take you 30 minutes. Once you have clarified your purpose though, it will be easy to create a daily reminder.

Why do you come to work? What are you there for? Have a think and write down what comes to mind. Then, read it back and ask yourself is this my purpose, or is it what I do? For example:

“Credit Control” – Is this my purpose, or what I do?

Credit Control is more of a job title than a purpose. It describes the function, or what one does, but it is not the purpose. Let’s take this example as a starting point, and find out how to find this person’s purpose (their why).

Q: Why?

A: So that customers pay on time

Q: If they paid on time, what would that mean to you?

A: We’d have a healthy cash flow

Q: If you had a healthy cash flow, what would that mean to you?

A: I would be doing a good job and would have a good review with my manager

Q:If you were doing a good job and this was reflected in your performance review, what would that mean to you?

A: I wouldn’t resent working as hard as I do

Q: If you didn’t resent working as hard as you do, what would that mean to you?

A: I would enjoy coming to work more.

Q: If you enjoyed coming to work more, what would that mean to you?

A: I would have more energy.

Q: If you had more energy, what would that mean to you?

A: I would enjoy speaking with my customers!

Q: If you enjoyed speaking with your customers, what would that mean to you?

A: I would want to help them.

Q: If you wanted to help them, what would that mean to you?

A: I’d feel really happy that I’d made a difference to their day!

So, in this example the Credit Controller’s true purpose for coming to work, might be better described as:

I help my customers pay on time, because it makes them feel good and that makes me feel happy!

There’s a big difference, isn’t there, between coming to work to control credit, and helping my customers pay on time, because it makes them feel good and me feel happy? Can you imagine the different conversations that you would have with your customer with that as your purpose and how much more enjoyable it would be to do your job?

Now, using the example to guide you, take yourself through these steps to help you find your purpose at work and feel the difference.

We all have lapses at times and forget our purpose. We get bogged down into the daily grind, we become task focused. That is why a daily reminder to focus on our purpose is so important. It lifts us up and we can ride on its coat tails for the day.

Lucy Windsor is the Author of People Aren’t Widgets, Communication Specialist and Executive Coach. Call us on 01932 888 885 or email lucy@theperformance.biz to discuss how we can help you and your organisation.

Jan 24

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1 of 8 ways to get in the zone and find the fun in your work

By Lucy Windsor | Blog | No Comments

Rainbow over spring field

Are you are ready to regain your joie de vivre and find the fun in your work?

We’re spilling the beans on 8 smart things you can do that will change how you feel about getting up and going out to work for the better. Read on to find all 8 tips and for the ‘how to’ and ‘why to’ for tip number 1. We will give you more information on each tip over the coming weeks and if you follow the advice, you will be well on your way to regaining your joie de vivre and finding the fun in your work.

Life just got more interesting – Here we go!

Daily checklist:

Be at peace and in silence for 15 minutes (for information on ‘how to’ and ‘why to’, read on)
Clarify your purpose
Find something or someone to inspire you
Do something today better than you did yesterday
Any time you feel tense, breathe deeply and be still – it will pass
Take responsibility for your wellbeing
Avoid blaming others
Write down one thing you’ve learnt about yourself today

Be at peace and in silence for 10 minutes – give yourself some Me Time right now by watching and listening to this mind-calming meditation from Tom Evans, author of The Zone & host of The Zone Show

– and get Tom’s free ebook on why It’s Madness Not to Meditate here

Our minds work in overdrive.Constantly fixing, organising, remembering, sorting, valuating, validating, judging, analysing, preparing, timing, nurturing, providing, loving, caring, driving, delivering, placating, worrying, hoping, wanting, helping, sharing.The list really is endless.We ‘do’, day in day out. Our day is so filled with ‘doing’ that we can go whole days or weeks without coming up for air.We hear people say don’t we, “I wish the World would stop turning just for a moment.I want to get off”.

To be at peace and in silence is one way to stop the World and hop off for a moment.

You can choose how to do this.Meditation, prayer, walking in the woods, or just sitting quietly somewhere comfortable.The key is to relax and quieten the chatter of your mind.Let your thoughts come and go like waves washing over you and back to peace. Isn’t it the simple pleasures, like a cool glass of water on a hot day, that are the precious gems reminding us how intrinsically connected to nature we are? These thoughts of what’s really precious take us away from the busy-ness of our life. Make sure you let all thoughts go as easily as they come and avoid temptation to follow a thought or resolve a dilemma.You will still have plenty of hours left in your day to do that.

This quiet time buys you real time in your day.It sparks creativity and inspiration and once you get used to doing this, you will find the best ideas and solutions pop into your thoughts when you least expect them.In the shower, whilst driving or cooking a meal. It is a bit like mislaying an item, a watch for instance; you search and search for that darned watch and eventually you give up looking, believing it is lost. Yet, the very next day, you open the drawer to take out your gloves and there it is. Your lost watch.

If you are not used to spending time in this state of peace, or think it’s a bit woo-woo for you, or perhaps you are just too busy, we do understand.We at The Performance Business have been there too. In fact, I distinctly remember thinking that meditation was just new age baloney. Oh, and I proved that to be true when I tried it and it didn’t work. My mind was so used to doing the doing, I didn’t know how to stop it!

However, I can assure you that if you give it just one month, starting with 5 minutes on the first day and adding a minute every other day until you reach 15 minutes, you will begin to notice a difference. You can even play a little game with yourself. Choose just one of the many things that you have on your mind to resolve and decide that you are going to let that one thing be resolved by letting it go. Be sure to notice when the answer springs at you when you least expect it.

When you see it works for that one thing and how good it felt, you will find yourself on the look out for many more inspired thoughts and creative solutions. You will discover the value of peace and silence for yourself.

For those really active brains that are so difficult to switch off, and try as you might, you find it impossible to let go of your thoughts, you might like to try listening to a guided meditation.There are plenty of free meditations on You Tube. I personally recommend the work of Tom Evans. Tom has been meditating for 40 years, after being introduced to the practice during a time in his life when he was ultra stressed working for a large corporation. He is now on a mission to get the World meditating. Tom is a personal friend of mine and a real master of how to bend time so that it works for you rather than against you. To find out more about Tom Evans go to www.tomevans.co but to hear a little bit of his magic for free, and to start you on your road to getting into the zone and finding the fun at work, click here to access a relaxation visualisation, that he has gifted here for you.

Lucy Windsor is the Author of People Aren’t Widgets, Communication Specialist and Executive Coach. Call us on 01932 888 885 or email lucy@theperformance.biz to discuss how we can help you and your organisation.