Tag

being present Archives - The Performance Biz

In The Moment

By | Blog | No Comments

pb02_website_banner_rust

“Most of our time is spent in the past or the future, rather than the present moment. What we end up doing is passing through that moment on the way to somewhere else and, in doing so, we miss the moment…”

One of the great enemies of action is procrastination. Procrastination is that place we go to where we are merely addressing the past or the future and not what we are doing now, in the present.

Like most things, it becomes habitual and takes many forms. It’s the devil on your shoulder that says “have one more coffee”, before your get to work, “go on Facebook”, when you have planned to go for a run, “daydream” instead of paying attention to class, “Listen to another expert” doing what you know you can do without the need for their expertise…and so on, and so on.

Being present is when you are perfectly at peace with the current situation that you are in. You are fully aware on a sensory level where you are and what you are doing. It’s a form of action that is immediate, committed and fully open and responsive to what is happening at that time.

The notions of the Past, Present and the Future are critical frames for how we communicate. For instance, the Past is the rich well of stories from our experience that we can tap into. The Future is the anticipation, excitement and vision of what the actions of today can engender for you and your audience tomorrow.

The Present is very often the element that is given least thought. And yet, this is where, through action, that being present can enable the rich learnings of the Past and the exciting visions of the Future are communicated.

So, how do we stay present? The first thing to recognise is that, try as we might, we really can only do one thing at a time, so we ought to do that thing wholeheartedly. Most of our time is spent in the past or the future, rather than the present moment. What we end up doing is passing through that moment on the way to somewhere else and, in doing so, we miss the moment. That’s how life ends up passing us by – we do it to ourselves.

So here are 4 reminders of how we can be present and achieve a higher quality of communication for ourselves and for others:

1. Take a breath

Breath, along with change, is the only constant, and being present starts with the breath. Simply draw a deep breath and let it out through your nose. When we breathe through our mouth it triggers a subtle anxiety response, which increases heart rate and redirects blood flow. That’s why you rarely see elite runners and cyclists panting, and why one of my own martial arts instructors used to make us train for hours with a mouthful of water. A slow release of breath through the nose has the opposite effect of mouth-breathing, and draws a relaxation response.

2. What are you doing right now?

Consider, the Hierarchy of Control™ for every action you are doing right now:

· Consider your action

· Consider your thoughts about this action

· Consider your feeling towards this action

· Consider your emotions about this action

· Consider your physicality about this action

Not being present is easy. There are bills to pay, and kids to pick up at school. There are doctor’s appointments and reports to write, books to read, parents to resent, loved ones to miss and the list goes on and on. With all that going on – past and future – it’s no wonder that presence is so elusive. It is not, however, as elusive as you might believe.

3. Internal and External Focus

Observe it, name it and stand away from it — all at once. The moment is now…now…now…now… When we cling to a “now”, rather than simply bearing witness to it and letting it pass by, we become trapped in time as it passes. We are operating on two levels when we are present:

– Internal Focus – why are we doing this action?

– External focus – what action are we doing?

The key is to look to synchronise these focuses so that they become as one. This will make it easier for us to stay present for a longer period of time: committed, concentrating and sustaining our attention on the matter n hand whether it be a simple action of drinking a cup of tea or a more complex action of seeking to understand a message from a colleague.

4. Come back to the breath

When the world or your thoughts begin to again intrude, simply come back to the breath. Inhale, and release your exhale to unbind yourself from the shackles of the past and the anxieties of the future. The constancy of breath can create the constancy of presence for us, if we choose to show up.

Prepare these actions with a feeling of ease. The more your practice these layers of being present the more readily they will come to you.

To find out more about how to be an EPiC leader, click here to arrange a conversation with one of our Consultants.

How Do I Get My Team To Step Up?

By | Blog | No Comments

pb02_website_banner_tan

lucy-team-step-up

“In my experience, it doesn’t help to go delving too deeply into the problem…”

(To receive this content in video format, click the link above).

It is not unusual for a leader to express their frustration at their team or a member of their team for not stepping up and taking responsibility.

There may be several reasons for their reluctance to step forward and really take ownership and it may be that you will never really know why.

In my experience, it doesn’t help to go delving too deeply into the problem. You can analyse and rationalise as much as you like, but the problem will remain and your frustrations will grow along with their resistance to step up.

Imagine a new Manager, Rory. One of his team members is Alan. Alan appears to be working very hard. He is often the last to leave. But he doesn’t communicate, so Rory never really knows what Alan is doing and what his workload is really like. In the past, Rory has found Alan to be quite defensive when he has asked about how he is spending his time. Not one for confrontation, Rory has backed off and has let him get on with it.

Have you recognise this sort of dynamic?

Next time you notice that a team member is resisting you, maybe try this exercise before you meet:

Take a pen and paper, and write down their name in the centre, then write down whatever words come to you that sum up how you would like the ideal relationship to be with that person. See below:

rory-and-alan

Once you have completed the exercise, you will find you have much better clarity of what you want and why you want it.

In Rory’s case, because he has something of a vision for how they might best work together, he can now focus on ‘the future relationship’ rather than ‘Alan’s failings’.

This simple exercise moves attention away from the frustrations and the problems Rory is experiencing with Alan, allowing space for him to create a new relationship, together with clear boundaries about the expectations he has.

In addition, Rory has opened up the communication channel between himself and Alan.

It’s time to have that chat!

To find out more about EPiC Leadership, click here to arrange a conversation with one of our Consultants.

Being Present When Presenting

By | Blog | No Comments

epic speakers banner

 

Dear Lucy,
If anyone has ever said to you, “just relax”, at times of stress, for instance just before you are about to give a speech in public, or deliver a presentation at work, then you will know how irritating that is!

Yes, I want to relax, but how?

Whether you are talking about controlling thoughts, feelings or emotions, unless you have taken control of your physical state then you will remain out of control, and unable to relax.

What do I mean by relax? In this particular instance, to be too relaxed might see a fall off in energy that will affect the impact of your performance. When I talk about being relaxed I mean to be yourself. Better still, the image I like to talk about is that of BEING PRESENT.

The process of gaining control of yourself in order to BE PRESENT follows a hierarchy:

  1. First control your PHYSICAL state
  2. Then, control your EMOTIONAL state
  3. Follow this by controlling your FEELING state
  4. Continue to gain control by being aware of your THOUGHT state

It is useful to break the process down into these individual parts or layers and then start to methodically rebuild them into something controllable.

Feelings and emotions are just symptoms of what is going on viscerally in the body.

To understand the science behind this, take a look at Dr Alan Watkins TEDx Portsmouth

So, where do I start?

Start with your breathing. Synchronise your breath with your physical movements. This is one of the best ways to calm things down.

Here is a simple exercise that is a great starting point towards gaining control and being present, although you might want to find a quiet corner to do it without being disturbed!

The aim of this exercise is to help root your energy and channel it in the direction that you want it to go. Great for control of physical and mental impulses.

Using your hands, working in conjunction with your breath, you are about to create a figure of 8. Starting at the bottom and working up to the top.

Here we go…

  • Start with a big breath out, and as you do so, slowly move your hands out in front of you, palms upwards
  • As you breath deeply in, bring your hands around in a circle, so that they meet back at the top, facing downwards
  • Breathe out and slowly turn your hands palm upwards again
  • Now, trace your hands around a second circle (the top of the figure of 8), meeting back in the middle at the top, palms facing downwards, as you do, draw a deep breath in
  • Now reverse the process
  • Repeat 8 times

How does this exercise help you? It enables you:

  1. To create space around any pressured situation allowing you to think clearly
  2. To synchronise breath with action brings variable heart rate back under control and calms you down
  3. By being very specific with the actions you are then encouraged to be specific with your message.
  4. it reminds you to create a beginning middle and end to your message

Practice this daily until your body is used to the exercise. Then, when you are about to present, your body will respond very quickly because it will anticipate the calming effect immediately.

Good luck as you work towards being present next time you present!

To find out how we can help you or your employees to become more impactful presenters, click here to arrange to speak with a consultant.

 

To stop receiving weekly EPIC Insights without losing connection altogether, click here.

Best wishes

Mike

Call Now Button