Do YOU Have Confidence?
What does that even mean? We all have confidence in our ability to do something.
Some people are confident when they stand up and give presentations. Some are confident looking after small children. Some are confident riding a horse, or plumbing a house.
Confidence means that you have enough knowledge, experience and skill to perform or execute something successfully.
So, what does it mean when we describe someone as a confident person? This suggests that perhaps they were just born with the gift of being confident. A confident person is a broader description. It is not pointing at a skill or task. It is simply stating that this person, more often than not, approaches life ‘confidently’.
It means this person faces challenges in life with a determination to succeed and the inner belief that they will find a way somehow. This mindset leads them to do one thing repeatedly. They take positive action.
When we believe that we will find a way and be successful, we automatically do things that will take us there and it doesn’t matter a fig if we know how to do it to start with. Nor does it matter if we start off down one route and then change tack, as long as we are moving in the direction of success, we are building momentum. This type of confidence does not lie in our knowledge, skill or experience of the task. It lies within us.
Confident people are not defensive because they have nothing to defend. They will succeed, at some point, at some time, they know they will achieve what they set out to do and they know that they will have setbacks and challenges along the way.
We all have times when our sense of confidence leaves us, momentarily. Maybe having received shock news, being made redundant, learning of the death of someone close. It is during times like these when it is easy to start believing you can’t instead of can. It is incompatible to hold onto the belief that we will find a way somehow and succeed, when we are consumed by a sense of failure and loss.
I believe that we are all born with confidence. We learn to walk, despite falling many, many times. We learn to talk, use a crayon, read a book. We delight at our small achievements along the way, and we very quickly shake off our failures, even if we hurt ourselves when we fall. Even if our fall was caused by someone pushing us over.
To be a confident person, you just have to know that you will find a way and be successful and when you do that, you will take action. If that action does not deliver immediate success, you will make an adjustment and go again, and you will keep adjusting and taking forward steps until you succeed.
Practise:
This coming week, spend time each day telling yourself, ‘I know I will find a way and succeed.’ If someone knocks you back, tell yourself, ‘I know I will find a way to succeed’ and be ready to learn, adapt and change your tack if necessary. If one door closes, go and find another to open. In fact, find another 10 doors. Before you know it, your confidence will be shining through.
By the way, it doesn’t matter which doors shut and which ones open. Confidence can bloom even in the face of rejection when you know that you will find a way and succeed.